I was listening to a podcast as I drove home the other night, and I found therein my True Purpose and Big Work.
Comedian Aisha Tyler was interviewing poker champ Jason Somerville on her show Girl on Guy about how he came out as gay on his blog on Valentine’s Day 2012. Here are some things Somerville said:I asked Daniel for advice… He says, “Write a blog. Put it in your own words, don’t let anybody look at it, don’t let anybody edit it, put it exactly as you like it, and then just post it.” I’d spent a lot of time crafting the blog entry, picking every word, and I remember being excited to post it. I wasn’t anxious. I knew I was ready because I was excited. I was, like, this is gonna be the day… … and I didn’t tell my parents in advance, I didn’t tell a lot of people in advance. I was just ready to do it. I said, “This is gonna be the day that’s gonna change my life forever,” and I was ready to post it, it was 6:30 Eastern… and I clicked Post. It was by far the best day of my life because there’s nothing like putting something out there that I had struggled with for so long, to the universe, finally putting it out there, and having the universe go, “You know what? That’s okay by us.” It was the most heartwarming, reassuring hug from the universe that I’d ever received and might ever receive. You don’t usually get thousands of people to tell you that they love you — and that’s what I got!
The Big Idea
As soon as I got home, I started transcribing that section of the interview so I could see on paper the words that had so inspired me.
My teenage daughter asked me what I was doing. I said, “I’m listening to an interview I found inspiring.” She said, “You’re inspiring… You follow your dreams: you’re acting, and you started your own business — it’s inspiring.”
(I think I’ll continue to shelter her.)
The more times I listened, the clearer it became to me: I can help other people do this for themselves. Every day, I help business owners tell the story of their business, and I encourage them to be transparent, relentlessly honest, clear and acting from integrity. I don’t want to build a business on bullshit, and I love talking with other people who feel the same way.
I wrote down all the things I know how to do for others:
- Put out in the universe the message that has been stuck in your head, in your heart, in your throat, the big one that will change your life once you express it, the one you’ve been struggling with for years.
- Get words and ideas clear, specific, beautiful, correct, and WRITTEN DOWN.
- Publish while the excitement still pulses in your veins.
- Draw usable poetry out of your head.
- Hold your hand and remind you to breathe, and give you permission to say what you need to say, the way you need to say it.
As I write this, I’m terrified. I need to remind myself to breathe. I need to remind myself that what matters in this moment is that I am getting clearer and closer, that I am taking action, that I’m ready to catalyze myself and others.
I cannot promise the universe will hug you when you write out your big thoughts. These things are immeasurable, vast, complex, and ambiguous. But I believe at my core that your life will be better when you get your necessary idea off your chest and out in the world, in your words, and I will defend to the death your right to say it. I’m the ACLU of self-expression.
This isn’t just an idea, it’s a service I can offer to others. As my daughter pointed out, I run my own business, and it is my business to inspire others. “To conspire” literally means “to breathe together,” and I’m looking for co-conspirators.
I’m basically publishing my first draft thoughts, filled with more inspiration than rationality. I’m always thinking about the program, a product or a package, I can put out there, but I simply want to make you an offer:
to coach and support you, face to face, heart to heart, as you get your message out.
Think about what it’s worth to you get these words on that page at last:
- A dozen therapy sessions?
- A couple self-discovery weekend retreats?
- Your shelf of self-help books?
- An expression of unstoppable joy that takes years off your face?
I work WITH you, not FOR you, which means we go on the journey together.
I’m not a mental health professional. If you think this sounds intense, you’re right. You may need some extra professional / spiritual support during the hours / days / weeks / months we work together.
I’m continuously working on my own declaration to the universe, my stake in the ground, my battle cry, my coming out as me, my manifesto. I’m going to keep writing about the process as I strive to create it. I don’t know how long it will take or what I’ll be able to share as I go along, I just know I have an inspiration and a plan and a commitment.
And a Post-It reminding me to breathe.
Composition note: I wrote this almost a year and a half ago. In the meantime, I’ve reiterated my purpose over and over in notes, on videocalls, in Facebook groups — everywhere I can. It shifts around a lot, but rereading this I find I can still stand behind everything I’ve said. It’s exciting to see how consistent my ideas are over time. This is me! This is what I am and what I do!
If you are inspired to work with me, claim your free half-hour consultation by clicking HERE and we’ll get going.